When you go to the team meeting for your child’s IEP, you need to be prepared. I go with a list of personal goals that I want to accomplish at that meeting. My goals are separated into two lists: The negotiable and the Non-Negotiable. This list will be different for each parent, so I can’t tell you what to put on your list. Here is a list of ideas that I would NEVER compromise on.
1. Full and equal parent participation: Your opinion should count. If you are being “pushed aside,” you will need to assert your parental rights. Announce to the team that you feel your opinion is not being heard. If you cannot get yourself heard, you can halt the meeting by asking for the team to reconvene later when the team is ready to hear your opinion. After the meeting, you can send a letter to the special education director in which you describe the meeting in detail, especially the points where your opinion was devalued or went unheard by the team. You can ask that the letter be placed in your child’s file. This letter will start a paper trail if you need to go to mediation with the team.
2. A Truly Individualized IEP: If you feel like the IEP that is presented is “cookie cutter”, meaning it does not sound like it was designed for your child, I would be sure to make suggestions that would make the IEP fit more to your child’s needs. Be sure your child’s present level of performance is detailed and his/her needs and characteristics are clearly specified. Then, be sure the services meet the needs of your child. Your child’s IEP should have a logical flow to it all leading up to the goals and services they will get.
3. Measurable Goals: If the goals are not measurable, you will never be able to tell if your child is making true progress. You will have to rely on teacher observation reports, which is not data. You need data to show true success!
The above is a list of general ideas that I would never compromise on. However, I always have other things on my list that are specific for my child. For example, my child is dyslexic so I had on my list of the non-negotiable that he get a multi-sensory explicit phonics program. That is an item that is specific to his disability. You will want to research what the best interventions are for the type of disability your child has and put those things on your list. I always go to an IEP meeting ready to negotiate. Negotiation sometimes means you have to give in on some of your goals. Be ready to present some goals and ideas that you are willing to leave on the table in the end. I do this for two reasons. If I get the negotable for my child – Great! If I don’t get them, I just compromised with the team opening the door for them to make a compromise with me on an issue I absolutely won’t compromise on.